Thursday 30 October 2014






AMBER ROMANCE

WHEN THE HEART KNOWS

CHAPTER TWENTY

The next few days that followed, Nma was all but dead, nothing seemed to matter to her anymore, her label, sewing or sketching out a design. Nothing mattered to her now that Uche was no longer a part of her life. She wasn’t getting over him either rather she was falling in love more with him each day that passed and hating him the more for it. He never came back, he never called. For two days now she did nothing but will her phone to ring, listening to the sound of cars, hoping against hope that one of the cars would turn out to be his but it didn’t happen. It seemed as if he had forgotten her already, maybe he had gone back to Angela. It hurt, it still hurt so much, and she sighed getting out of the bed. He might actually be waking up beside Angela this morning and maybe kiss her good morning while she was here dying.
“Stop it! Stop it” she screamed at herself. “Stop punishing yourself more than you are already suffering, haven’t you suffered enough?” She asked. “Uche is not worth it” she told herself slowly. But her heart was screaming at her
“It is a lie, a wicked lie he is everything that matters to you, he is the core of you existence, he is your life and the only love you’ll ever know” Nma didn’t deny the truth in the words her mind screamed at her. She loved Uche and nothing could change that, not even the knowledge that he was sleeping with another woman she thought wearily. Too late the knowledge was just dawning on her now, or she would have forgiven him when he asked.
She was so tired and weak; she couldn’t even remember the last time she ate. She had lost weight and all the shinning radiance was gone from her face. She walked to the mirror and stared at herself. She looked dead, she thought. There were hollows on her cheeks and bags under her eyes and she felt worst. Her stomach rumbled, obviously asking for food but the thought of food put her off entirely.
“What kind of life is this?” she asked herself. At twenty six, what did she ever do to deserve to suffer this way, she sighed.
“I can’t go on like this” she groaned but she was sure that with time the hurting will stop, when she got used to the idea of not having him in her life. She soothed herself. But that seemed like an eternity away, she could never get used to that idea. Who would have thought that she and Uche would end up like this? People who had seen them together would never believe this, she sighed turning away from the mirror. She had to get to work today. Everybody would be wondering what was wrong with her. For two days she had rarely shown her face at the boutique, and when she did, she didn’t spend much time. It was as if she was avoiding people, she thought
“But of course I am avoiding people” she said to herself. She didn’t want anybody seeing her withdrawn look and asking her questions that would undo her. She knew she would have to face them eventually, she was yet to tell Felix and Tessy and even Helen what happened. But she didn’t want their pity or even I told you so from Felix. She shook her head sadly and went to take her bath.
Nma got ready for work, wearing a white cooperate gown with black button down in the front and at its breast pockets. The gown came with a belt and she belted it and slipped her feet into a black low pencil heels... she chose white because she needed a bright color to bring brightness and peace to her mind.  She also used lots of make up to cover the paleness of her face and the bags under her eyes. She took a long look of herself in the mirror. She had done a good job in disguising her pains, she thought soberly.
She had also made up her mind; she was going to tell Felix about the break up today. Nobody had asked about the ring, maybe none of them had noticed that she was no longer wearing it, she thought turning away from the mirror.

Nma got to work and went to her office first to pull herself together before she faced Helen.  The girl would surely notice that she was no longer her usual cheerful self or the lack of ring on her finger. She could even ask question about the way she had been absenting herself from work when it was only seven days to her exhibition.
“This is ridiculous” she muttered. “I cannot continue like this or I would loose all I have ever worked for over that cheating beast” she fumed, furious with herself. Resolutely, she got up and walked to the door.
“Just calm down, be strong” she warned herself. “Now paste a smile on your face good” she muttered as she opened the door and closed it behind her.
As she got to the studio, Helen looked up from cutting materials and gave her a bright smile.
“Look who decided to show up” she said brightly.
Nma smiled back and walked into the room.
“So you are still alive and on this earth” Helen continued beaming. Nma’s smile faltered a little when she saw how happy Helen looked and sounded. “Of course I am still alive and on this earth” Nma replied quickly getting her composure back.
“So why have you been hiding six days to your show?
Oh! How was she going to explain to her that what seemed like the whole world to her meant nothing to her anymore? All because of one man Uche Okoha. “I had other important things to do elsewhere” she replied flippantly.
“No doubt with Prince Charming” Helen smiled
Nma’s face fell at the mention of Uche’s name and she couldn’t reply, she just stared at Helen with stricken face.
“Did I say something wrong?” Helen asked taken aback with look on her face.
“No! No! Nothing is wrong” she stammered going quickly to inspect what Helen has done so far.
“You’ve done a lot here, I didn’t expect this much” she said trying to change the topic
“Yes em before I forget, the Petal’s woman has been here to remind us that she would needing her orders by the end of next week”
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Nma shouted “I told you before to get the girls working on it”
“Yes they are working on it and most likely it will be ready” Helen replied a little surprised by her outburst.
“So why is she bothering us, since when did they have to remind us of our duty? This is the last order I am taking from that woman” then she groaned inside after her outburst. Why was she taking her anger out on poor Helen? It wasn’t her fault, it was Uche’s fault but Helen was trying so hard to remind her of Uche, when she was trying equally hard to forget him. She sighed. In her heart she knew she had to apologize to Helen. “I am sorry” she said ruefully “I didn’t mean to bite your head off”
“Is everything alright?”
“Nothing, I am alright, I will be alright” she said nervously going over to the newly arrived materials.  “When did this arrive?” she asked meaning to lighten the air.
“Yesterday evening”
Helen turned back to her work, meaning not to press her anymore. She was sure that whatever was bothering her, she would talk about it when she was good and ready. She understood that sometimes you needed to keep things to yourself. Wasn’t she an expert in that? If Nma learnt the truth about her, Helen shuddered at the thought and concentrated on her work.
Nma used the silence to pull herself together. Stupid, she called herself. If she was this fidgety with Helen, what would happen when she faced Felix? She wondered. Better to put off that particular task till she was ready, she decided cowardly.
“No I have to get it over and done with” she told her herself but she couldn’t make herself take one step in doing that. She couldn’t do it, she was scared of what Felix would say, she was scared of everybody even herself. She wondered if Uche had broken the news to his family and how they were taking it. Well they might not be surprised, they should know by now what a womanizer their son was, she thought bitterly trying hard to concentrate on the job on hand.
“How are the models coming up with the rehearsals? Helen asked she was a bit worried, though she was determined not to press but she could feel that something was dreadfully wrong with Nma, forgetting the models rehearsal was one thing but how could she forget to come for their fitting? She was very worried and helpless.
“Oh that! I will book another appointment with them tomorrow” Nma got up to hang the gown she made before and left for her workers to finish.
Then Helen noticed and spoke without thinking “Oh Nma!” Helen cried
Startled Nma dropped the clothes; looking around for anything harmful but Helen had already put her hands around her, “Why didn’t you say something? You broke up with Uche” the girl stated.
“How did you know? Nma asked choking back tears.
“I put one and one together, the way you’ve been behaving recently but I wasn’t sure till I saw your bare finger” she said “I am sorry if I had known I would have kept my big mouth shut but all I did was remind you of him”
“It is not your fault” Nma said with constricted chest. “I still can’t believe it, I can’t believe it” she sobbed.
“I know how you feel; some things are hard to believe. Is there no way for making peace? I mean… seeing the way you are looking and feeling…you can’t continue this way”
“How do you reconcile with a man who cheated on you?”
“Not Prince Charming, he is not like that, he adores you, he loves you and what could he possibly want from another woman anyway?” asked Helen puzzled
“Believe me he did, Helen you don’t know how I have suffered these past days, at a appoint I wanted to die”
“Oh! Don’t say that” soothed Helen “But surely there must be an explanation for what happened”
“Not good enough. Oh Helen! You can’t begin to imagine how it felt, I thought I would die from it” she began to sob
“It’s okay, hush, these things have a way of taking care of themselves” Helen didn’t ask what happened, she didn’t want to press. She felt that if Nma wanted to tell her she would have told her without her probing. She thought, comforting and consoling her till her sobs died down.
“Silly me I have messed up your blouse” she said with an attempt on a smile
“Nonsense!  Think nothing of it, besides what are friends for?” Helen reprimanded her
Nma felt lighter having shared her burden, she was grateful that Helen didn’t probe and she was also happy she kept her story to herself; somehow she felt it would be degrading Uche if she had told her.  She managed to pull herself together accepting the wads of serviette given to her by Helen. She blew her nose and sat down, trying to build up the energy to resume working.
One hurdle crossed two to go, she thought, and those two were the hardest. Felix and Tessy, the worst part of it was she would be forced to tell them how it happened. She could see no way out of it. If only they wouldn’t pity her or worst treat her like a child. This could happen to anybody, she sighed. She picked up her scissors and started cutting down the materials trying to concentrate but it was proving difficult. She didn’t know whether to go down and break the news to Felix or wait till it was time to go home. She was acting like a coward and she knew it but there was nothing she could do about it. Except shedding the cowardice skin and marching off to Felix’s office and telling him how right he had been about Uche.  Knowing Felix, he would understand and comfort her. She didn’t think he would condemn her after all she didn’t do anything wrong, she was in love and there was no sin in that, she reasoned. The sinful part of it was still being in love with him. Surely it was madness, how could she love and hate him at the same time, was it possible? Felix would understand she assured herself, switching her mind off so she could concentrate on the job at hand.
“I have to see Felix” Nma said absent mindedly but making no move to get up.
Helen gave an understanding look.
“I take it he doesn’t know yet” she asked
“No he doesn’t but I can’t keep it hidden forever, I should tell him”
“Just be strong and remember you did nothing wrong, these things happen you know”
Nma smiled gratefully and got up to see Felix.
She was surprised to find Felix not alone when she got to his office. There was a young man in dreadlocks and earrings with him. She wondered what problem he could be having with the customer.
“Nma there you are” smiled Felix “I was going to call you to meet a friend, his father and I go way back, Mike. He just came back from US and couldn’t believe that this place is owned run by a twenty six years old girl”
Nma was taken aback, if only Felix knew, he wouldn’t be beaming and smiling at her.
“Hi! I am Nma” she managed to smile.
“Yo! What’s up sis?” the man said loudly.
She was astonished by his behavior but she smiled and managed to reply “I am fine”
“Felix was telling me how you started and what you do, it is really great” he said in perfect English.
Nma was surprised at his English and she didn’t know that her surprise showed.
“Did my English surprise you?” he asked
“Yes it did, I thought you are yuppie sort of guy”
“I am when I want to” he laughed. “Felix told me you are like a daughter to him”
“Felix is not old enough to have me as a daughter” rejoined Nma.
“Probably a sister” he concluded. “Enough on Felix, why don’t I take you out for lunch and get to know you better”
“Sorry to disappoint you Mike but Nma is as good as married. You should look else where” Felix smiled.
If only he knew Nma thought ruefully.
“Ah but she is not married yet. It is not as if we are eloping” he turned to face Felix “Come on Felix don’t you trust me” he smiled and turned to Nma with a charming smile showing nice set of teeth and dimples. “Won’t you have lunch with me?”
“I am sure Uche is coming to take her out for lunch, quit wasting your time”
“Felix, there is nothing wrong with an innocent date” Nma said
“Don’t mind him, he is blast from the past and he can’t understand the generation gap”
“I’ll get my purse” she excused herself.
Coward! Coward she called herself as she climbed to the stairs back to her office.

Mike took her to an impressive restaurant.  As soon as they sat down, she felt that someone was looking at her but when she looked around, she saw no one she recognized. She turned to her partner and gave him a dazzling smile.
“So” Mike began “ You know I actually saw your picture in Felix’s office and I cajoled him into introducing you to me”
“I’m flattered” she replied dryly
“What was that nonsense about you being engaged, your fingers are naked”
“I was engaged” she smiled acting cool. “But Felix doesn’t know that we’ve broken up yet. It happened three days ago” she said stilling her emotions successfully.
“You are not acting like one whose heart has just been broken”
“Well what has happened has happened and I can’t turn back the hands of time so why kill myself” she said with a sureness she did not feel.
“What went wrong” he asked
“Oh! The same old story, men can’t be trusted” she said unwilling to tell her story to this perfect stranger.
“Not this man baby” he said picking up her hands and kissing it.
“Everything about you says you can’t be trusted” she said removing her hands from his.
He smiled coolly “With time we shall see”
“Sorry but I don’t think I have time to find out”
“We shall see” he said firmly. He beckoned on the waiter lazily and the smart looking boy in uniform hurried to their table. “What will you have?” he asked her. Nma ordered her food not really interested in what she ordered. The waiter moved away and her eyes followed him absent mindedly but it stopped widened with shock as Uche’s angry eyes locked with hers. The blood drained from her face and she stared at him, taking in his handsome features greedily. Oh! But he was so handsome even now when he looked as if he would like nothing better than to kill her. He was in the company of some men in dark suits no doubt having a business lunch, she thought as her eyes traveled the length of him. He looked tired and withdrawn and she wondered if he was feeling as empty as she was. It gave her some measure of satisfaction to think that he was suffering too.
“You look like you’ve seen ghost” Mike interjected following her gaze with his eyes.
Nma tore her eyes from Uche and gave him a dazzling smile.
“Do you know those men?”
Nma didn’t see any point in 1ying so she answered him truthfully.
“One of them there happens to be my ex fiancé”
“No wonder! You still love him?”
Of course I still love him but she checked herself before that could come out of her mouth. “We just broke up three days ago”
“Naturally it is not long of enough for you get over him?”
“Obviously you think it is long enough” she bit out.
“Sorry don’t bite my head off, I am just a guy interested in you, and it is rather agonizing to my ego to see that you prefer another man”
“For very understandable reason that I was going to marry him till three days ago”
She couldn’t believe his selfishness. He didn’t even stop to think   how much she could be hurting just sitting there and watching Uche. All he was interested in was his non existent feelings for her, she thought irritated. Even if he was the last man on earth, she would never consider him. The likes of Mike could only appeal to immature girls who might be impressed by his Americanized behavior and looks.  But a girl like her who was more focused looked past those silly façade.
She was relieved when the waiter brought their food and they started eating. She used the moment as an excuse to keep quiet, only nodding to his chattering and answering his questions in monosyllables.
“Just my luck that Mr. handsome showed up and spoilt my lucky day” Mike jeered.
“You can hardly blame him for that; he didn’t figure we would be here”
“Nor did we, I just blame fate”
“Only we can decide if we are going to have a messed up day. You can hardly blame a third party least of all Uche”
“So that’s his name!” he exclaimed. “What exactly went wrong? Because I can see it is hardly over between the two of you”
“What are you implying? Do you think that if we are still in a relationship, he would tolerate this idle lunch with you?”
“I mean I can see vividly the sparks flying to and fro between you two”
“Now who is spoiling the day” she asked
“I was just making an observation”
“We just broke up three days ago, what do you expect?”
“That one party hates the other passionately for causing her heart ache”
“Why you are so bent on discussing Uche is over me” she said almost angrily
“I just want to know if I stand a chance and what that chance is”
“I am not ready to jump into another relationship” she told him clearly “and certainly not with you” she added to herself.
“Let’s forget Uche and enjoy a perfect meal” suggested Nma.
“If you say so but he is not easy to forget not when he is so near and looking at me as if he wants to tear me apart limb by limb” he complained.
“If it is any consolation, he wouldn’t do that. He has no violent bone in his body” she assured him.
“As if I believe that”
“You heard from an authority” she smiled at him.
Mike gave her a hard stare “I know a violent man when I see one, living in New York as a black man has taught me some survival instincts some of which are recognizing a violent man when I see one”
Nma tactfully remained silent, she was tired of talking about Uche and she regretted coming out with Mike. The man was sulking like an old mother in law. For him to think of Uche as a violent man was funny. Ruthless at times he maybe but that was when the occasion demanded it. Okay maybe now he was feeling a bit ruthless but she believed he couldn’t harm another fellow.
Mike stood and she looked up.
“I am going to the gents’ lady” he said arrogantly. Nma grew annoyed at his tone, seething and regretting as she watched him leave. A movement caught her eyes a few tables away and she looked and saw Uche advancing towards her like a panther after its prey. She met his eyes gave him an icy look, and wondering what it was he wanted from her.
“So” he began as he got to her table and sat down comfortably. Anybody seeing him would think he just wanted to greet an acquaintance but she knew better, she could see the ice perking in his eyes.
“It didn’t take you long to find a replacement”
“You did that pretty faster than I did” she replied coolly.
“You are still bent on believing that?”
“It is what the eyes see that the brain interprets”
“That is why you have to be careful interpreting what the eyes see; sometimes things are not usually what they seems”
“On that I couldn’t agree anymore” she smiled at him sarcastically.
“One day darling, one day” he chanted.
“You will get your revenge” she finished for him “but we both know that day will never come”
“Oh! Don’t be too sure because I can see it so near” he smiled wickedly
“Why you still bother with me I can’t tell”
“Don’t flatter yourself; I hardly bother about you now, only for that day when the truth will dawn on you”
“Get out of here Uche or I’ll have you thrown out of here for disturbing a customer”
“You will find the opposite the case if you do. I will personally ask them to throw you and raster out. And maybe you didn’t know it before nobody will dare throw a dog with an Okoha surname out of anywhere. Not when I own this place anyway”
Nma didn’t for one second doubt him but she was surprised to know that he owned the place; he must have his hands on every available pie.
“If you would please leave, as you can see my date is on his way back”
“If only you beg nicely” he replied arrogantly.
“I most definitely will not!” she said firmly
“Then I will stay, there is some certain appeal in finding out what kind of guy you are dating now”
“Are you not keeping your associates waiting?” she reminded him anxiously.
“Uche Okoha calls the tune” he replied lazily.
Somehow she knew that the Uche she first knew has returned but fiercer and more arrogant. Gone was the loving man who courted her. In any case, she still preferred his company to that of Mike though she would rather die than admit that to Uche.
“Uche please leave, I am begging you” she pleaded.
He took his time standing up and smiling contently but before he could uncoil his long form from the chair, Mike was already upon them and he still had to wait some agonizing seconds before Uche could stand up for him to sit. Nma could see how easily Uche intimidated Mike with his height and build plus the aura of wealth and charisma he exuded from every pore of his magnificent body.
Mike looked from Uche to Nma puzzled. “I am Mike and you are” Mike asked trying to gain his lost composure.
“I will see you Nma later” Uche said ignoring Mike arrogantly.
“No you won’t” she told angrily, she couldn’t believe his arrogant behavior.
“Don’t count on it, surely you know me” with that he left, walking back to his associates.
“What kind of monster were you going to marry?”
“He is not always like that”
“You have the grace to defend him?” he asked astonished.
“I know him more than you do, he doesn’t behave like that unless he is crossed”
“Meaning I have crossed him. I am afraid he would make a formidable enemy. And to top the crown, he looks wealthy”
“He is wealthy; he has more money than he needs” she replied nonchalantly.
“No wonder the self confidence” Mike stated jealously. “I would have loved to have met him on a neutral ground, you know without you between us, and then I would teach him to part with some of his excesses to others who seriously needs them”
“What do you mean by that” asked Nma horrified.
“I didn’t get by in this life by being a good boy lady. I guess your lover was born into money and those of us who are not so lucky, we love to get them to share”
“You mean tricking them to share” stated Nma.
“Wise girl and your man seems like the right candidate”
“You’ll be disappointed. Uche didn’t remain at the top by giving in to every tom, dick and Harry who comes along with a brilliant idea. He is intelligent as well as clever”
“Too clever that he let you go”
“Too clever that he wants me back” replied Nma abruptly.
“Take me back to my office and I am only asking so I don’t hurt your pride, I can easily get myself back”
“I am not going to trick your Uche, I might even have to buy a ticket before I see him” he laughed standing up.
Nma stood up feeling drained and tired, with one last look at Uche who seemed immersed in what he was doing, she began to leave. He had already forgotten that she was in the room. She realized then that he was saying the truth when he said he didn’t bother about her any more, she thought with bitterness as she walked out of the restaurant.
If she had known, she wouldn’t have accepted this foolish date, she thought miserably. It was a total disaster and a nightmare. Meeting Uche added insult to injury, she thought. Honestly, finding out that he was still angry with her but might want her back for revenge was horrible to her. How she even jumped to his defense was beyond her, it only went to prove that nothing has changed for her. It could sound ridiculous but it was true. She glanced at Mike and hated every miserable second she spent with him. How did Felix get saddled with this hateful crook as a friend? Imagine him thinking of duping Uche and having the guts to say it to her presence. Maybe it was an empty boast or he thought she would support him to get back at Uche. Now she understood the reason why Felix was adamant that she did not accept the date in the first place. He knew what a miserable company his friend’s son was going to be and she turned a deaf ear to him because she was afraid of telling him her engagement was off. As soon as she got back to the office, she decided, it would be the first thing she would do, she would tell him. She saw no reason for the delay, it was not as if she and Uche were getting back together, so why the delay? Deep inside her she knew she was hoping for a reunion, subconsciously she held back from telling Felix who would tell Tessy, she thought, making up her mind.
Mike stopped the car in front of her boutique and turned to her.
“Despite Mr. Billionaire spoiling the day, I enjoyed it”
Nma couldn’t say the same but she smiled and nodded at him.
“So how about if we try it again, let’s say this evening?”
“Thank you but I can’t, I have got my two hands full this evening” she replied jovially.
“Surely you can find time, I am talking about dinner, and you don’t work at night do you?”
“I do and I am behind schedule as it is now. So I work every night to meet up” she explained.
“I guess I’ll just have to make the time for the two of us, see you very soon” he said.
“Thank you for the lunch, it was good” she said getting out of the car.
“The meal or the company?”
“Both”
“Then we will have to repeat it next time” he stated
“Next time it is then” she said politely but evasively
Nma got out of the car and released her pent up breath slowly, she could feel relief flooding back into her body but it stopped as she turned towards her boutique, she just remembered she had to see Felix. She walked resolutely into the building, heading towards Felix’s office. When she got to his door, she stopped; she could hear voices, shouting at each other. She thought it was Felix and Tessy having a little fight and turned to go but she stopped. That didn’t sound like Tessy and they have never had such a heated fight before, she walked to the door meaning to find out.
“She is my daughter! And I want to get to know her”



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