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Tips for better sex life

A Lot of couples see making love to their partners as a laborious duty. The women are perpetually tired or ill or the oldest lie 'headache'
Now I am not the type to blame the women like most people will do and start lecturing them to do what they don't find exciting anymore.
Men and women none is exempt. Couples should work together in making their bedroom lives more exciting.
Making love should be exciting. If you are a woman and your husband wants you every night, you are queen and if you are a man and your wife nearly never says no to you, you must be doing something right.  but if not, if your bedroom life is a stress and a bother you will rather be excused from, here are some tips.

1. Make your relationship exciting outside the bedroom. If you ignore each other all day, you don't call each other or only call when you want to remind him or her of an obligation and then you come home, read paper or face your laptop or you don't come back till she has gotten tired of waiting for you. Then suddenly you turn to her in the bedroom. I assure you she will be ill or tired or have a headache. Making love is more than a bedroom act. Call to say I miss you, say I just want to hear your voice. send romantic text telling him or her how much you love, miss her. Dash into his/her office for lunch. Hold hands, go out on dates once in a while, stand beside her while she is cooking dinner or walk in at intervals for kisses or to help or even to pinch the meat, she will smack you playfully, these are all build ups. Before you finish locking up for the night she will be in sexiest lingerie waiting for you.

2. Be sensitive to what she needs. A lot men complain she is dull, she is frigid. No she is not, she does not understand what the big deal is all about. So to her she will rather not stress herself further.
Making love is easier for a man to quickly become satisfied but for a woman it is different story. Try to be sensitive to her needs. Talk, ask, watch her reaction to what you are doing. Make her understand what the big deal is.

3. If she is the shy type or not comfortable about her body owing to child birth. Your work is cut out for you.
First of all you have to assure her that you still find her as beautiful as the first time you touched her. Tell she is even more beautiful because she is the mother of your children. Don't just tell her, show her in and out of the bedroom.
If she is shy type gradually bring her out of her shyness by letting her set the pace. Only introduce new and less frightening ways gradually and when you are sure she can handle it. Don't leave her in her shy state and go outside to get your action. Working, talking about it, gradually bring your bedroom life up to most exciting level you can think of.

4. Some couple are just tired of each other or of doing one thing every night. It is now boring. Be creative with your sex life as couples. Now I will not advice any couple to watch porn, this is because porn degrades lovemaking,  making it animalistic, finding new ways to make your bedroom life exciting should come from that inner communication or need to satisfy your partner. If you are so much into each other, if you really love each other, it will show as you touch each other's soul. The excitement most times is not in the styles or positions but in the feeling that in this moment in time you are totally one and can touch each other souls and communicate on a higher level.

5. The know it all syndrome. Men are mostly guilty of this. Just by the virtue of being the man you make yourself lord, master and teacher. Her opinion doesn't count, what she thinks, knows and needs are not important. Even when your leadership is not working you enforce it. She pleads tired or ill, you force her after all she should be submissive to you and you are only taking what is rightfully yours. I don't think that is what the Apostle meant when he asked women to be submissive to their husbands. If you want your marriage and most importantly your sex life to work, then you must bear in mind that you don't know it all.
To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from her, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret

6. Be creative, we cannot runaway from the fact that for sex to be exciting you must be creative. Take it out of the bedroom, it is not the only room in the house. Plan a weekend getaway, steal her away during the day to a hotel. Apart from porn, there are other descent ways to learn new things and new ways to upgrade your bedroom lives. There are some psychologists and some professional men and women who lecture on these subject. Seek them out personally or by reading their books, or their write up on the Internet.

7. Make time,  the reason why married couples have less exciting sex is because they are too busy. Busy with work, chores, children and they forget themselves. Most times men will rather spend time hanging  out with friends over drinks and single girls than coming home to give their wives some loving. And when they come home reeking of alcohol, what woman wouldn't plead headache, illness and tiredness at the same time. Make time to be romantic, make time to talk, make time to go out on dates, make time to just be together. When you get this part right, you will want to spend all available time with each other in the bedroom.

8. Romance, There is power in that eye contact over the kids head, across a hall filled with people. There is power in that little touch that might mean nothing to onlookers but is communication for both you. There is power in that knowing smile you give each other, that smile and wink that says I remember last night. There is power in an embrace, in little pecks and kisses. There is power in play, laughing, smacking just connect with your inner child. There is power in romance. How can you have a beautiful sex life if you don't know the power of romance.


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I am back and I am very thankful to those who kept asking. Thank you for your concern.
Every waking moment out soon. Still writing it. And if you have a concern and advice send a mail to stelchris@yahoo.com or amberfallstv@gmail.com you use fake names and all. But you will get real advice.