RELATIOSHIP

Tips for better sex life

A Lot of couples see making love to their partners as a laborious duty. The women are perpetually tired or ill or the oldest lie 'headache'
Now I am not the type to blame the women like most people will do and start lecturing them to do what they don't find exciting anymore.
Men and women none is exempt. Couples should work together in making their bedroom lives more exciting.
Making love should be exciting. If you are a woman and your husband wants you every night, you are queen and if you are a man and your wife nearly never says no to you, you must be doing something right.  but if not, if your bedroom life is a stress and a bother you will rather be excused from, here are some tips.

1. Make your relationship exciting outside the bedroom. If you ignore each other all day, you don't call each other or only call when you want to remind him or her of an obligation and then you come home, read paper or face your laptop or you don't come back till she has gotten tired of waiting for you. Then suddenly you turn to her in the bedroom. I assure you she will be ill or tired or have a headache. Making love is more than a bedroom act. Call to say I miss you, say I just want to hear your voice. send romantic text telling him or her how much you love, miss her. Dash into his/her office for lunch. Hold hands, go out on dates once in a while, stand beside her while she is cooking dinner or walk in at intervals for kisses or to help or even to pinch the meat, she will smack you playfully, these are all build ups. Before you finish locking up for the night she will be in sexiest lingerie waiting for you.

2. Be sensitive to what she needs. A lot men complain she is dull, she is frigid. No she is not, she does not understand what the big deal is all about. So to her she will rather not stress herself further.
Making love is easier for a man to quickly become satisfied but for a woman it is different story. Try to be sensitive to her needs. Talk, ask, watch her reaction to what you are doing. Make her understand what the big deal is.

3. If she is the shy type or not comfortable about her body owing to child birth. Your work is cut out for you.
First of all you have to assure her that you still find her as beautiful as the first time you touched her. Tell she is even more beautiful because she is the mother of your children. Don't just tell her, show her in and out of the bedroom.
If she is shy type gradually bring her out of her shyness by letting her set the pace. Only introduce new and less frightening ways gradually and when you are sure she can handle it. Don't leave her in her shy state and go outside to get your action. Working, talking about it, gradually bring your bedroom life up to most exciting level you can think of.

4. Some couple are just tired of each other or of doing one thing every night. It is now boring. Be creative with your sex life as couples. Now I will not advice any couple to watch porn, this is because porn degrades lovemaking,  making it animalistic, finding new ways to make your bedroom life exciting should come from that inner communication or need to satisfy your partner. If you are so much into each other, if you really love each other, it will show as you touch each other's soul. The excitement most times is not in the styles or positions but in the feeling that in this moment in time you are totally one and can touch each other souls and communicate on a higher level.

5. The know it all syndrome. Men are mostly guilty of this. Just by the virtue of being the man you make yourself lord, master and teacher. Her opinion doesn't count, what she thinks, knows and needs are not important. Even when your leadership is not working you enforce it. She pleads tired or ill, you force her after all she should be submissive to you and you are only taking what is rightfully yours. I don't think that is what the Apostle meant when he asked women to be submissive to their husbands. If you want your marriage and most importantly your sex life to work, then you must bear in mind that you don't know it all.
To combat this for better sex, have a lesson session in which you don’t think you know it all, and are at each other's mercy as teacher. Talk about things you haven’t tried, but would like to, then choose one suggestion from her, and get down and dirty. We often get caught thinking we know what our partners like, and after a while it becomes "the way it’s done." Lose this myth and put yourself in the student's chair for a while for better sex you won't regret

6. Be creative, we cannot runaway from the fact that for sex to be exciting you must be creative. Take it out of the bedroom, it is not the only room in the house. Plan a weekend getaway, steal her away during the day to a hotel. Apart from porn, there are other descent ways to learn new things and new ways to upgrade your bedroom lives. There are some psychologists and some professional men and women who lecture on these subject. Seek them out personally or by reading their books, or their write up on the Internet.

7. Make time,  the reason why married couples have less exciting sex is because they are too busy. Busy with work, chores, children and they forget themselves. Most times men will rather spend time hanging  out with friends over drinks and single girls than coming home to give their wives some loving. And when they come home reeking of alcohol, what woman wouldn't plead headache, illness and tiredness at the same time. Make time to be romantic, make time to talk, make time to go out on dates, make time to just be together. When you get this part right, you will want to spend all available time with each other in the bedroom.

8. Romance, There is power in that eye contact over the kids head, across a hall filled with people. There is power in that little touch that might mean nothing to onlookers but is communication for both you. There is power in that knowing smile you give each other, that smile and wink that says I remember last night. There is power in an embrace, in little pecks and kisses. There is power in play, laughing, smacking just connect with your inner child. There is power in romance. How can you have a beautiful sex life if you don't know the power of romance.


Don't forget to share this with your spouse and friends. And subscribe to this blog if you find this write up helpful.
I am back and I am very thankful to those who kept asking. Thank you for your concern.
Every waking moment out soon. Still writing it. And if you have a concern and advice send a mail to stelchris@yahoo.com or amberfallstv@gmail.com you use fake names and all. But you will get real advice.

RELATIONSHIP

RELATIONSHIPS TIPS

Recovery from heartbreak is much like processing grief, so we go through the following stages:

Denial ("This can't be the end, I'm sure he will call.")
Anger ("I hate her.")
Bargaining ("Maybe if I behaved differently, it would work.")
Depression ("I never want to love again so I never feel this pain again.")
Acceptance ("It was. And now, it is over.

Before that you must go through some process of healing listed below.

1) Know your love and feelings were real. Just because it didn't last doesn't mean it wasn't real or true. You're not crazy, foolish, wrong or delusional.

2) Understand love is always a gift. Love is a blessing even if it ends painfully, for heartbreak bears great wisdom.

3) Consider that all things happen and people come into our lives for a reason. Eckhart Tolle says, "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness." A relationship that ends is not a mistake or failure.

4) Stay in the present. Don't ruminate about the past or second guess your actions. Don't worry about the future. ("Will he find somebody else? Will that relationship be better?") Stay out of your head, for that is a dangerous place to go. Practice mindfulness techniques like deep breathing and meditation. Imagine breathing in what you need (strength, hope, energy) and out what you don't (pain, aches, sadness).

5) Release feelings of anger, hatred and thoughts of revenge. Understand this are all related to ego and cause you more harm than good. Anger exacerbates anxiety and depression, keeps us tethered and prevents us from moving forward. As Nelson Mandela said, "Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies." In a moment of quiet, repeat the mantra, "I forgive and release you and let you go."

6) Let go of the attachment or connection. Don't be a whack-a-mole and repeatedly poke your head up for rejection from the object of your affection. As Mark Twain said, "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." Care enough about yourself to conserve your energy for those who deserve it, starting with yourself!

7) Get support. Talk to friends and family who are empathic and kind. Tell them specifically what you need from them. If your friends are tired of your broken record, consider therapy or a support group. Get immediate help if feeling so depressed you are suicidal.

8) Know you are lovable. Do not misinterpret the end of a relationship as meaning you are somehow not enough. Sometimes people aren't capable of giving us the love we need and deserve, which is their issue and not yours. You are exactly as you should be and are perfectly lovable just the way you are.

9) Practice self-love. Recognize masochistic and self-harm behaviors (not eating, substance abuse, risky behaviors, etc.) and nip them in the bud. As Buddha said, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Stick to structure and routine and get proper rest, nutrition and exercise. Don't isolate yourself or your depression will take a deeper hold on you.

10) Know this too shall pass. Put one foot in front of the other and time will heal your wounds. Even if you can't imagine feeling better or being open to love again, you most certainly will. In my practice, I have been awed and amazed by the resiliency of the human spirit.

"The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..." -- Nicholas Sparks

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RELATIONSHIPS
10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR DATE SPECIAL AND ROMANTIC
In this country, you see couple date who never go out on date, except maybe during the toasting period. As a couple who have been together for long, going is non existent.

But here ten ways it could still be exciting for you as the toasting days.


1. Re-enact your first date: for most people, first date are memorable because that is the day most efforts were used to make an impression, to show love and care, to prove the relationship will work or to prove how happy you will make each other.
So by re enacting your first date, it reminds you why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

2. Send a romantic message: it could be a text, or bbm voice but if you really want to be romantic, write a letter, kiss it all over or just where you seal with a red lip stick, spray your perfume on it and send it to him before you meet for a date

3. Take a walk: just as the sun turns into a orange bloom or the cloud darkens. Take a stroll holding hands and simply enjoy nature and each other. Make a run for it if rains or snows. Getting physical could put you in that love mood

4. Get a massage: book massage with your partner. While you are lying side by side and relaxing, letting your bodies get pampered, look at each other and let your eyes say how you feel. You may hold hands if you can.

5. Visit the less privileged: you and your partner could spend some time with the orphans, motherless or those in the hospital. Just go with gifts and have fun with them. This may be the time to show him how perfect a family you could be or how good a mother you will make, you'd surprised that he will pop the question.

6: look good: don't wait for him to take you shopping before a date. Take yourself and buy what you are going to wear from sexy lingerie to the most fabulous attire you can afford. Do your hair. This is the day to look and feel fabulous as ever.

7. Make it a weekend getaway: instead of spending the whole time at home like you always do, make it a weekend getaway. Go to a resort or spend a little money and stay in a five star hotel and get that five star treatment. Believe it or not luxury makes romance more exciting.

8. Listen to love song all day: you can do this together (strongly recommended) as the music wafts out from the stereo, look at him/her especially when the song says something you feel deeply. This way you are telling each other how you feel without words. You can do this while sitting quietly together and holding each other or while you are in the kitchen and he is somewhere else..i assure you the lyrics of the song will bring him to you. You can listen to it by yourself while getting ready for your date. It will put you in that romantic mood.

9. Cook her dinner: most men think this is a woman thing or it makes them less manly. But you don't know how romantic a woman feels seeing her man in apron And tinkering about in the kitchen exclusively for her. It makes her feel special. It doesn't matter if you are superb chef or you are so pathetic that you burn the food. She will feel loved, special and extravagantly happy..and you would have achieved your aim.

10. Dance the night away: when I say this, I do not mean to shoki or shake body, I mean to some beautiful love song. Do this at the balcony where the wind will be soft and chilly, or at a bar or restaurant that offers a dance area. Or in your living room

I know most girls go to work with their overnight bag and then go home to their boyfriends. the weekend is spent just like that on his bed.
Ask for romance, nothing as romantic as dressing up and waiting to be picked up by your date. You will feel like Cinderella waiting for her prince.

If you are single, don't be left out and don't become desperate to find someone to spend the day with. You will only get laid for nothing. Dress up and go out, go dancing, see movie, eat out. Who knows some lonely single man you might meet.

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Best ever Chioma
Precious Osas, where are you?  I miss you girlfriend